I know what they would say

I know most people would tell me not to do it; that I am creating a bad habit. But I can't help it.

Sometimes Luke cries in the middle of his nap. I go in and reassure him and leave. Sometimes he falls back to sleep, but most of the time he will keep crying.

I give it a minute and then go back in. I ask him what is wrong, what do you need? And he says in the sweetest, saddest voice, "Mama". So I pick him up. And as soon as I do he wraps his little arms around my neck and snuggles into me like my arms are the safest place he could ever be. I sit in the rocking chair and rock him. He falls back to sleep.

I just stare at him. I wonder how I got to be so lucky to be this little miracle's Mama. How is it that God has blessed me so much. Then the tears come. This feeling is like nothing I have ever felt. I am so in love. He makes me the happiest Mama ever.

And then I think, the day is going to come {way too soon} when I am not going to be able to hold him like this. He isn't going to want to snuggle with his Mama.

I put him back in his crib. He wakes up enough to look at me and I tell him he is ok. He falls back to sleep.

I know people would tell me that he is 18 months and I shouldn't do it, but I can't help it.